in much the same way, wrath is starting to control my life, again. it's almost always there, now, eating away at whatever i have left that approximates a soul. i had thought that this time things would be different; that, for once, someone would go out of their way to make me happy. but i'm coming to the realization that most men in relationships are more complacent than dogs; as long as they're comfortable, they'll put in minimum effort to keep the status quo. all my friends disliked d. for the same reason; maybe i'm drawn to men that will tell me they love to keep me maintaining a relationship. sure, they're grateful. but the motivation for reciprocity, it seems, is totally one-sided when it comes to men and me.
how depressing. i had thought maybe, just maybe, i would have proven wrong this deep-seated fear that i'll grow old to be bitter and lonely; but life has treated me too well in every other aspect. in this one, apparently, i can't win. wrath will end it all.
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